


(But it Might be Biology)

by phonecallfromgod



Series: It's Not Rocket Science [2]
Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Aftermath of Fake Dating, Attempted Seduction, Established Relationship, F/M, First Time, Multi, Non-Explicit Sex, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:14:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24044968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phonecallfromgod/pseuds/phonecallfromgod
Summary: Cady Heron's life is totally on the up swing, her fake boyfriend is now her real boyfriend, her groups of very different friends are actually getting along, and she's planning the most banging Valentines party North Shore's ever had.Now if only she could figure out how to get her sex life together without having to admit to that whole 'fake dating' situation.[A sequel to It's not Rocket Science But it Might be Chemistry]
Relationships: Damian Hubbard/Original Male Character, Kevin Gnapoor/Cady Heron, Marwan Jitla/Tyler Kimble, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: It's Not Rocket Science [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1745857
Comments: 12
Kudos: 20





	(But it Might be Biology)

Janis had told Cady once that teen guys, supposedly, think about sex once every thirty seconds, which as the daughter of two biologists, Cady was insanely skeptical about. But as the daughter of two biologists she was well aware that all animals, humans included, did have internal mating rhythms and mating cycles. 

Which is why she’s become increasingly aware of the fact that she might be going through her own personal mating season. Suddenly it’s like all she can think about, the next time she can get Kevin’s hands on her, the next time they can sneak away for a private study session or some Netflix and Chill. And while, on the one hand there’s nothing wrong with being healthily sexually attracted to her boyfriend, it’s starting to seep over into other parts of her life, and it’s getting a little ridiculous. 

Like, she’s watching Kevin work on AP Lit homework at lunch, hunched over while Marwan and Tyler are loudly tag-team telling some story to Damian. Cady is not listening at all because all she can see is the way Kevin’s biting his lip, worrying it back and forth, as he proofreads through his stuff. All she can think about is how badly she wants to shove everything off the lunch table and crawl across it towards him. Maybe climb right into his lap and— 

“Caddy,” Janis says, in a tone of voice that suggests it was not the first, or even the second time she’d tried to get her attention. 

“Hmm? What?” Cady says. 

“You’ve got pudding on your shirt,” Janis says, pointing at her chest, and Cady looks down at the dark brown smudge that seems to have dripped off her spoon and onto her shirt in the interlude. 

“Ah, shit,” Cady says, grabbing a handful of napkins and dabbing at it mostly uselessly, a dark brown stain already spreading onto the light blue of her shirt. 

“Where the hell did you _go,_ I said your name like twelve times,” Janis says.

“I was just thinking about stuff.” 

Damian leans over, never one to be left out of drama. “Mhmm, sure, stuff with a silent-G?” 

Kevin tunes in very suddenly then. “We talkin’ about me?” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Cady says, more to Janis and Damian than Kevin, who just gives her a little silent ‘ _alright then_ ’ with a quirk of his eyebrows and goes back to his homework. 

“Hello, hello!” Gretchen chirps, suddenly appearing at the end of their table, timing impeccable as always to save Cady from any further interrogation from Janis and Damian, “Happy _February_ everyone! You guys know what that means right?” 

“Uh, tomorrow is Groundhog Day?” Tyler supplies. 

“No, it’s Valentine’s month!” Gretchen says, doing a little foot pop in excitement. 

“Oh god, a day is bad enough can we not drag this out into a whole month,” Janis says, “It’s a fake holiday invented in a scheme between Hallmark and Fererro Rocher to get us all to shell out on overpriced cards and candy in pursuit of a heterosexist ideal of romantic love.” 

“But you’re not bitter at all,” Damian says cheerfully. 

“Look not all of us have a boyfriend who does weird historical romance penpal roleplay with us…” 

“Wow! I told you that in the _strictest_ confidence!” Damian huffs. 

“Okay but Valentine’s doesn’t _have_ to be like that,” Gretchen interjects, her voice going a little shrill, “It can just be a fun day about love and friendship and candy and things being heart shaped!” 

“That sounds really fun Gretchen,” Cady says helpfully, “We should totally do something. Or. Is that a thing?” It was confusing trying to keep track of which holidays people would do things for and which ones people would, which seemed to be, from her point of view, mostly arbitrary. 

“Eh, not really,” Damian says. “Not since middle school.”

“Yeah why don’t we have Valentine’s parties anymore?” Kevin says looking up from his homework, “That shit was dope. Making a little box for all your cards and candy and stuff. We should go back to that.” 

“See! Yes! Thank you Kevin,” Gretchen says, “You guys, oh my god we should _totally_ have a party. Like bake cookies and watch rom-coms. It’d be so fetch.” 

“Awwww we should,” Cady says, wishing not for the first time that her family had moved back to America when she was still young enough to have enjoyed things like trick or treating and class holiday parties. Though it sounds like middle school as a whole was sort of a blessing for her to miss. 

“I mean okay I don’t wanna be a downer,” Marwan says, “But I already like. Have a Valentine’s day reservation and stuff….” 

“Wait you do?” Tyler says. 

“Yes.” 

“When did you make that?” 

“Like a month ago…” Marwan says sheepishly. “What? Don’t look at me like that’s crazy, stuff fills up so quickly for Valentines.” 

“Dude,” Kevin says to Marwan. “That’s not a look of judgment, Tyler totally wants to jump your bones.” 

“It’s not my fault he’s hot when he’s prepared!” Tyler says. 

Behind Tyler’s back Janis pretends to retch, which is actually kind of growth for her. Six months ago she’d have done that to his face. 

“Jason and I actually have plans too,” Damian says. “I don’t know what they are because he’s being super romantic and secretive about it but, yeah I’m kinda booked already. And like, Cady, you and Kevin are doing stuff right?” 

“Um? I guess?” Cady says, looking over at Kevin for guidance. “I mean we didn’t really have any solid plans yet,” he says, and Marwan _tsks_ , “Alright shut up it’s like two weeks away, sorry I don’t have an itinerary.” 

“Oh, yeah. Duh,” Gretchen says. “Obviously you guys all have like. Couple plans. Sorry, that was really silly of me to not think of. That’s okay, maybe we can bring treats for lunch? Or something like that?” 

“Yeah,” Cady says enthusiastically. “Yeah totally, of course we can.” 

Gretchen brightens a little bit at that, a relief because somehow it’s even worse seeing someone sad when they’re dressed head to toe in pink with several heart-shaped accessories. “I need to go find Karen before the end of lunch, she left her sweater in my car. But we can talk deets later I guess!” 

“Totally!” Cady agrees, and then waits until Gretchen is out of earshot before rounding on the rest of the table. “ _Guys_. C’mon we should do the party for her.” 

“But— ” 

“We don’t have to do it _on_ Valentine’s Day Marwan, calm down. Your reservation will be fine. It’s a Saturday right? So we do something the Friday night. I bet my parents would let me have it at our place if I ask right.” 

“Do I have to go?” Janis asks from where she’s making a little log cabin out of pretzel sticks. 

“Yes you have to go,” Cady says.

“Okay, wait,” Damian says. “But can it be a surprise party? And also can I pick out the decorations.” 

“Damian I will give you full party planning control if you help,” Cady says, which are exactly the magic words because Damian’s eyes go comically wide, and suddenly he’s talking a mile a minute about colour schemes and when did she think they could go to Party City and look at decorations. 

“That was really sweet of you,” Kevin says, when he’s walking with her to her locker at the end of lunch. “Doing that for Gretchen, you know she’s gonna love that shit.” 

“I hope it’s okay?” Cady says, “We can still totally do something just us for Valentines.” 

“Yeah, of course baby, I get it,” Kevin says as Cady opens her locker, looking at her totally ruined shirt in the mounted mirror with a sigh. 

“I think I have a Tide to Go pen,” Kevin offers helpfully, rummaging in his backpack for a moment before coming up with it triumphantly. “Ah-ha!” 

It works, mostly, only now she’s got a weird wet spot right over her boob and it kind of just looks like she’s lactating even though Kevin reassures her that it looks totally fine. 

“I’m just going to change my shirt,” Cady says, rummaging in her locker for her spare mathletes polo shirt. She’s wearing a camisole so she just pulls off her other top, very aware of the fact that Kevin is looking at her and trying hard not to stare. And yeah, maybe she draws out getting her new shirt on a bit just to get him to look at her a little longer. 

“So,” Cady says, smoothing out her polo. “Do you want to maybe come over to my place after school and— ” 

“Yes,” Kevin agrees immediately and Cady kind of wants to pin him against the bank of lockers, but she knows that everyone hates that couple, so she settles for giving him a quick kiss that she hopes conveys more to come. 

It’s not like they haven’t talked about sex before. They’d actually talked about it a fair bit over winter break, with Kevin emphasizing that he wanted to take things slow. Cady totally got that and she’d never ever want to pressure him into anything he didn’t want to do. Especially because there was a lot of stuff he’d never done before, and even Cady herself was by no means an expert. 

But it really doesn’t help that she doesn’t have anyone she can _ask_ about any of this, because all of her friends think her and Kevin are already having sex. 

Cady _had_ meant to tell their friends about the whole fake dating thing. Really. She totally did. But right after Snowflake Soiree it was finals, and then right after that it was winter break and the medley of winter holidays, and the new semester and suddenly it was February and she realized that in all this waiting to find a good time to do it the window might have closed completely. 

Which honestly has been fine. Truly none of their friends have suspected anything, and in a lot of ways it’d be way weirder at this point to be like; ‘hey I lied to all of you for months in order to get petty revenge on Aaron but actually it all worked out and now we _are_ dating for real!’ 

Mostly it just sucks to not have anyone to ask about why she’s feeling less and less like Kevin doesn’t _want_ to go past second base, and more and more like he’s turning her down for reasons she can’t quite understand. Social signifiers just slightly out of reach. 

For example, they’re making out on Cady’s bed instead of studying because both of her parents aren’t home, which is a miracle in and of itself because their teaching schedules this semester have meant that usually when she brings Kevin home after school one or both of her parents are puttering around. 

Cady’s trying to be cool with taking it slow, she loves taking it slow, but— 

“Kev,” she whines as he gently kisses down her neck. “You don’t have to be so gentle. If I get a hickey, I’ll just wear a scarf it’s fine.” 

“Are you sure?” Kevin says, sitting all the way up on his knees. “You don’t have to.”

“Do you not want to?” Cady says, leaning up a little with him. 

“No, I just mean—” Kevin scrubs a hand over his face. “Sorry, it’s okay.” 

“Come here,” Cady says, reaching up to wrap a hand around the back of his neck so she can pull him back down. She loves having him over top of her, the way her world narrows down to the long stretch of his torso and his warm spicy boy smell and his hands and his mouth. She makes an embarrassingly needy little noise when he gently cups the side of one of her breasts, thumb brushing back and forth very gently. 

“Is this okay?” he asks, even though they’ve done this a lot, done more than this even, but he always asks anyways. 

“Yeah, more,” Cady says stupidly, shifting over so he can lean more onto his side, but he doesn’t get the message that she wants him to touch her more. So, she takes matters into her own hands. 

“Here, you should…” She grabs his hands, guiding them up under her shirt. 

“Jesus Christ,” Kevin says, and she’s never going to get over how dazed he sounds. Like he can’t believe he could ever be so lucky as to get to do this. He squeezes her once very gently, “God, Cady, your tits are amazing.” 

“I bet you say that to all the pretty girls,” Cady coos at him. She’d used to think it was kind of weird when people called breasts ‘tits,’ but with Kevin practically moaning about hers she definitely got the appeal now. 

His hands cover her breasts completely, and he’s so gentle at first, barely moving. “Baby please,” she says,“Kevin, c’mon.” 

“Okay,” Kevin says, starting to touch her in earnest. She’d be probably doing some really embarrassing things like begging for more if Kevin wasn’t kissing her again, hot and wet and insistent. She’s been turned on since they started making out, but now there’s an actual ache between her thighs and she’s kind of at the point where if Kevin doesn’t want to handle it, she’s just going to stick her own hand into her pants. 

So yeah, she’s escalating the situation. 

“Lemme sit up,” she says, tapping Kevin on the shoulder.

“Okay?” 

“Yeah I just wanna…” And she demonstrates rather than explains, pulling her shirt off over her head, followed by her camisole. “I could take my bra off too,” she offers. “If you want.” 

This is nothing Kevin hasn’t seen before, but he takes a big shakey inhale and nods mutely. Like lust has just burnt up his entire vocabulary. 

See now this is what Cady wants. 

“Kev,” she says, “C’mere, c’mere, I wanna.” They’re both on their sides so it’s easy for her to throw a leg over him, pull herself into his lap. Kevin pants and makes this broken delicious noise that sort of sounds like her name, and Cady leans forward to kiss him, feeling him half-hard under her thigh, the fact of it making her moan into his mouth and then— 

“Baby,” Kevin says, pulling away. “We should slow down.”

“Okay,” Cady says, kissing him again, gentler, less hurried. But Kevin’s still stiff and awkward. “What’s wrong?” 

“Um, can you, uh,” Kevin says, tapping at the side of her thigh. “I just. I need a second?” 

“Oh,” Cady says, climbing out of Kevin’s lap, “Sure. Of course.” 

He kisses her very sweetly, disappearing into the hall and Cady counts to two hundred before getting up and following after him. The bathroom door is closed and the water is running. 

“Kevin?” She knocks. “Are you okay?” 

There’s a very long pause and Cady’s stomach knots itself up like vines while she waits. 

“Hi,” Kevin says finally, door creaking open. 

“Hi,” Cady says, “I’m sorry.” 

Kevin shakes his head. “You don’t have to be sorry.” 

“I should have asked I shouldn’t have just— ” 

“I wanted you to,” Kevin says, “Really I totally did. I just…” 

“Got overwhelmed?” Cady offers, reaching for Kevin’s hands and squeezing them. They’re cold from being under the faucet and she presses them together, and then rubs the outside with her own hands like he always does for her. 

“I’m sorry,” Kevin says, head hanging sheepishly. 

“Don’t be,” Cady says, leaning up to kiss him once very gently. “It’s okay.” 

“It’s not about you,” Kevin says. “I want you Cady, I really do. It’s just.”

“Taking it slow, I get it,” Cady says, all her annoyance melting away at the sight of Kevin’s face, shockingly sincere, “C’mere.” 

He practically folds in half so he can press his forehead into her shoulder. 

“You’re my favourite person in the whole world,” Kevin says, half muffled. 

Cady kisses his neck, and then, when he doesn’t move or pull away she does it again, and again. 

“Don’t give me a hickey, I can’t pull off scarves,” Kevin says. 

“I feel like you could,” Cady says. “I think it would look awesome.” 

“You’re very nice but we have too many gay friends for me to get away with it.” 

“Mhmmm well sorry I guess I’ll have to kiss your mouth then,” Cady says. 

“Oh no,” Kevin grins. “How horrible.” His hand is at the small of her back and he meets her happily in the middle. It’s nice, soft wet open-mouthed kisses, tongue but not too much, Kevin groaning a little when she tugs on his bottom lip. Cady’s just trying to figure out the logistics of getting back into her room when she hears the totally moment ruining sound of the garage door opening. 

“Noooo,” she whines, mostly into Kevin’s mouth. 

He’s a better sport about it than she is, kissing her once and then saying, “We’d better...we’ve only got like forty-five seconds to artfully arrange some textbooks on the dining room table.” 

“I knowwwww,” Cady concedes, already turning to follow him down the stairs, having left her backpack open at the dining room table for this very reason. 

“Rain check, okay?” Kevin says, very sweetly kissing her over the handful of highlighters he’d thrown on the table, textbook open to entirely the wrong chapter. 

“Okay,” Cady agrees, though she wonders if she’ll actually get to cash that check anytime soon. 

“Cady what do you think?” Damian asks holding up two different but mostly identical looking sets of heart shaped plates. 

“Um, the left one?” She offers weakly and Damian makes a face. 

“Hmmmmm. Seems dubious. Jay, what about you?” 

“Left one,” Jason says, with more conviction than Cady had been able to muster. “Definitely.” 

“See that’s exactly what I was thinking!” Damian says, throwing them into the cart that Cady’s leaning against. Jason meets her eye and gives her a little smirk, but it’s dripping with affection. 

“So, you and Kevin got any plans for Valentine’s?” Jason asks, having missed the whole lunch table convo in the first place because he had practice. He hadn’t even known why they were going to Party City until they’d gotten there and Cady had filled him in (“I just don’t ask questions, we come here a lot,” he’d said with a shrug). 

“We’re still figuring it out,” Cady replies, trying to keep herself focused in the moment and not a million miles away. “I guess. I’ll probably have him stay over after the party and maybe we could get pizza from the place we got it on our first date? That’d be cute right?” 

“So cute,” Jason agrees enthusiastically, and even though Cady just watched him do the same thing about plates, it’s really sweet nonetheless. 

“I feel like I don’t even remember Valentine's day from last year, what was I even doing?” 

“You were going ultra plastic and triple texting Aaron,” Damian says, not looking up from napkins. “Speaking of which, how in the hell did you convince your parents to give you the house after you destroyed it last year?” 

“I just asked,” Cady says, “and they already had plans for a weekend trip to a B&B in Michigan. Plus, I mean, cleaning vomit out of an oven was kind of its own punishment.”

She checks her phone, again. No new messages. 

“Did we lose Janis?” Jason says, dodging a glance over his shoulder. 

“No she’ll be rummaging the discount bins for clearance Halloween stuff,” Damian says knowingly. 

Cady forces herself to put her phone in her purse because otherwise she’s just going to keep checking it, and she’s really trying not to be clocked out of this social interaction. It definitely does not help that Damian had brought up her really sad period of social media stalking Aaron. She’s not about to make the same mistake triple-texting Kevin. 

Even if Kevin wouldn’t leave her left on read for like. Weeks at a time. 

Still, she’s more than a little grateful when they finally extract Janis from the clearance section and she just hands over her credit card to Damian so they can ring up all the stuff they got. 

“You know we could have bought like, so much weed for this price,” Janis says, looking at the receipt with suspicion. “And not just sketchy weed like, dispensary shit and everything.” 

“Oh my god shut up,” Damian stage whispers.“We’re in public.”

“Do you think these sad minimum wage Party City employees are going to call the cops on us for hypothetically talking about weed? They’d probably want a hookup if anything,” Janis turns to Cady. “Oh my god, hey we should totally do edibles at this dum— at the party.” 

“Good cover,” Damian says, clicking his keys at his car which chirps at him in response. 

“Don’t call attention to me working on myself,” Janis says, flicking him with the sleeve of her coat. “It disrupts the illusion that I am a perfect person.” 

“Yes dear,” Damian says, handing the bags to Jason so he can open the trunk. 

“We’re not doing edibles at the party,” Cady says. 

“Spoilsport,” Janis pouts. 

“I thought we were gonna get stoned this weekend and watch _The Room_?” Jason says, pulling open the passenger side door. “We could make edibles for that.” 

“Don’t think I don’t see your diplomatic skills,” Janis says, wagging a finger at Jason, “But also that sounds fucking fun sooo, I’m in.” 

Cady finally caves and checks her phone again once they’re in the car, and tries not to be horribly disappointed when she still has no new messages. She thought she’d hid it pretty well actually, jumping into Janis’ razing of the weird musical theatre playlist that Damian had put on, but after they drop off first Janis, and then Jason, Damian turns around in the driver’s seat to look at her sympathetically. 

“You’re lookin’ glum chum, wanna come sit in the front with me?” 

“Yeah,” Cady says with a sigh, unbuckling herself and doing the quick door-slamming two step into the front seat. Damian very sweetly does finally turn his playlist from showtunes to something a little more mellow, which feels like a better backdrop for a heart to heart. 

“So,” Damian prompts. 

“So,” Cady says, not even sure where to begin. “If you—okay if you wrote Jason one of those letters you guys do—” 

“I am very concerned about where this is going but continue.” 

“So okay you wrote him this letter, and maybe you said something like, a little more vulnerable or risky and then he didn’t respond. What would you do?” 

“Well I very much doubt that you are writing Kevin letters in which you are the youngest roguish son of a wealthy British family and he’s the gardener with rough hands but a tender heart, so can we maybe just talk about this on your terms?” 

Cady blinks. “Is _that_ what your letters are about?” 

“Don’t be judgey. What, you and Kevin don’t send each other like, I don’t know, equations?” 

“Not really, no.” 

“Interesting. Okay continue.” 

“So I sent Kevin sort of a risky snapchat earlier? And he opened it right away but he hasn’t responded. At all.” 

“Risky or _risque_?” Damian asks, pulling into Cady’s neighbourhood. 

“I’d just gotten out of the shower. So.” 

“Oh, okay, got it,” Damian says, stopped at a stop sign. “I mean, okay, not to be gross but he might just be, you know.” He makes a loose gesture that even Cady with her under informed teen social signifiers can recognize. 

“For over two hours?” 

Damian hums, “Yeah probably not then. But I mean c’mon it’s _Kevin_ , there’s no way he didn’t love it.” 

“Maybe,” Cady says unconvincingly, turning her phone over, more just on reflex and jolting when she sees _New snapchat from Kevin G_. “Oh my god!” 

Damian slams on the breaks, and it’s lucky they’re on her mostly deserted residential street. “What, what’s wrong?” 

“Kevin just snapped me back.” 

“Cady Marie!” Damian says. “Don’t scare me like that I thought we were about to run over a small child. Or a small dog. Or a small child with a small dog. Also do not open that in the car, I am very happy not knowing what the junk of your boyfriend looks like thank you very much.” 

Cady really, really, _really_ doubts Kev sent her a dick pic, but she’s holding out hope that it might be at least a little sexy. Sometimes he sends her pics where he’s all sweaty and shirtless from a run and she doesn’t even care if it makes her look thirsty, she screenshots all of them and puts them in her secret folder. 

And really, the pic she sent him was really not any more scandalous than any of those snaps, just her in a bathrobe out of the shower lying on her bed. She doesn’t really have cleavage from that angle but she’d left the top of her bathrobe a _liiiittle_ more open than she usually would. She’d thought she’d looked pretty hot honestly, and she’s buzzing a little with excitement as Damian pulls into her driveway to drop her off. 

She waves when he honks at her and then waits until he’s turning back onto the road to open Kevin’s snap, too excited to wait until she’s inside. 

It’s a selfie of just his face, damp hair flopping into his eyes, with the caption ‘why are you so gorgeous after a shower when I look like this??’ 

Which like. Is very cute and sweet, but so not the response she was hoping for, and Cady sighs, not even bothering to screenshot it as she shoves her phone back into her purse and digs around for her house keys. Maybe she finally needs to take Gretchen up on her offer to make her a subtle yet sexy playlist because Cady is clearly floundering out here on her own. 

It feels like the universe is just kind of being mean when Cady shows up on Wednesday to the mathletes’ club day booth and someone has scrawled, ‘Join Mathletes for a 100% Chance of Getting Laid’ onto a dry erase board. God, if _only_ it was that easy. 

“Ms. Norbury will like. Actually kill us if she sees that,” Kevin says.

“Lighten up Kev,” Tyler says, “It’s super enticing _and_ factually accurate.” 

Cady can feel Kevin’s eyes flicker over to her where she’s making herself busy setting up a framed photo of the four of them after they won state championships, but she doesn’t look up. 

“Yeah, well,” Kevin says lamely. “We’re all going to be fucked if Ms. Norbury sees that so take it down.” 

“Fiiiine,” Tyler says, erasing the white board with the back of his hands. “But I really think that would bring the nerds running. But at least we’ve still got eye candy.” 

“You’d better be referring to me,” Marwan says from where he’s checking his hair in his phone camera. 

“Yeah babe, obviously,” Tyler says, and then gives Cady a very subtle little thumbs up where Marwan can’t see. 

It’s true that almost every math competition they’ve ever gone to has ended with Cady getting given at least one guy’s business card. And while that tends to range from awkward to awful, she’s not against using her nerd catnip powers — Damian’s words not hers — to try and bring some more people onto mathletes. Especially because now that they were all seniors getting new people onto the team was kind of a necessity if it was going to continue past next year. 

So Cady puts on her game face to charm a bunch of geeky underclassmen. 

Only it’s not her who ends up being eye candy, and it’s not Marwan either. Kevin keeps getting these little clusters of girls, leaning over the table and giggling as he hypes up mathletes and hands out his card. 

And look, okay, Cady is not a particularly jealous person most of the time, and even when the occasional mood strikes her she can usually wind it down by reassuring herself that the guy who pined for her so long that he had time to make her a custom font isn’t about to be swept off his feet by some giggly sophomore with braces. But after a month of sexual shutdown Cady is feeling a lot less secure as Kevin effortlessly charms at least half a dozen girls to come by their next meeting. 

So she decides it’s time to break out the big guns. 

“Hey baby,” Cady says, putting a possessive but still casual hand on Kevin’s arm, “Can you and Marwan hold the booth for a second?” Tyler had left awhile ago to help out at the Model UN booth. Or maybe it was the Junior Investors club? She couldn’t remember, Tyler did a lot of extracurriculars. 

“Of course,” Kevin says, completely oblivious to the power play, even as Cady notices one of the sophomores wilt a little. 

“You’re the best,” she says, and leans up to give him a kiss on the cheek, trying her best not to look too smug. 

She takes her time in the bathroom pulling her hair up into a high ponytail. It’s not her go-to hairstyle, but she knows Kevin really likes it because everytime she wears it up he makes a big deal of telling her how pretty she looks. It takes her three times to get it just right so it’s high and flouncy and not all weird looking in the front, but it’s worth it for the extra spring in her step as she comes back into the gym. 

“Oh! Lookit you Miss Lola Bunny,” Kevin says, reaching out for her as she comes back to the booth, no giggly girls in sight. Though that’s probably less because of her territorial display and more because lunch is almost over so everyone is packing up their booths. 

“Lola Bunny?” Cady asks, coming gratefully into Kevin’s personal bubble, hands crossing over the small of his back as he holds her gently above her hips. 

“Like from _Space Jam_? Have you seen _Space Jam_? Honey, I will show you _Space Jam_ ,” Kevin says. 

“Oh my god stop saying _Space Jam_ ,” Marwan says, not looking up from the magazine he’s reading, at least he doesn’t for a moment, and then. “Wait, weren’t you like. Super horny for Lola Bunny in grade eight?” 

“Uhhh, how would you know you were in freakin’ Canada in the eighth grade.” 

“Yeah, no, Tyler def told me about this,” Marwan continues. “She was like, your sexual awakening catalyst, right?” 

“Oh that’s so cute,” Cady says, even as Kevin pouts and pulls away from her. She genuinely loves hearing stories about what Kevin was like as a tween, as much as he seems horrifically embarrassed by them some of the time. 

“Wait what are we talking about?” Tyler asks, reappearing from wherever. 

“Kevin’s boner for Lola Bunny.” 

“Oh my _god_ ,” Tyler says with a thrilled laugh. “Yes, I’d forgotten all about that. Your first wet dream, what a landmark.” 

“Guys shut up,” Kevin whines. 

“I haven’t thought about that in forever,” Tyler says leaning against the table. “What brought that up— oh no, okay, Cady has her hair in a ponytail. All is clear.” 

“Seriously, can we not,” Kevin says. 

“Hey it’s nothing to be ashamed of bro,” Tyler says. “Lots of people who were furries as tweens go on to have very successful lives.” 

“Okay, real big talk from the guy whose first crush was Tony the Tiger,” Kevin snaps, “You guys can finish packing this up, I don’t have to listen to this.” 

“Kevin, c’mon, we’re just kidding,” Marwan says, but Kevin’s already stalking off.

Cady turns on her heel. “Really guys?” 

“Marwan brought it up,” Tyler says, immediately throwing his boyfriend under the bus. 

“I’m going to go make sure he’s okay,” Cady says.

Marwan scoffs. “You can’t just make us pack up everything by ourselves.” 

“Excuse me, I am putting out the fire you guys set, so unless you wanna take the bus home I’d be very grateful that I am going to go smooth things over with some girlfriend tact and charm,” Cady says, channeling more than a little Regina as she sets off after Kevin. 

He’s at his locker when she catches up with him, staring into it blankly. 

“Hey handsome,” Cady says, tugging on the back of his shirt. 

“Can we just like, forget the last five minutes ever happened,” Kevin says. 

“It was cute.” 

“It’s embarrassing,” Kevin says. 

“It’s really not,” Cady tries placatingly. “I had so many weird crushes when I was a kid. Like my mom showed me this pic of the peace corps guy I was like, in _love_ with when I was younger and he was not _nearly_ as cute as I remembered.” 

“Okay, but like, at least he was a person and not like, an anthropormorphic rabbit you had a weird sex dream about at Tyler’s post-bar mitzvah sleepover,” Kevin says in a rush mostly under his breath. 

Cady is holding back the impulse to coo so she just rubs Kevin’s back. “I mean sure, but that doesn’t mean there’s not stuff to be embarrassed about.” 

Kevin hums in unconvincing agreement, and maybe this is the wrong time to be thinking about it, but she kind of thinks maybe she can turn lemons into lemonade so to speak. They’ve never really talked about sexual fantasies before, and while there’s about a hundred other places she’d rather have this conversation, the door is open, so why not try and nudge it a little bit further. 

“Hey,” Cady says, moving her hand down along Kevin’s back. “Do you wanna know who my first sex dream was about?” 

She’s aiming for playfully coy, but Kevin just turns to look at her with big impossibly sad brown eyes and she knows right away that she’s missed her mark by a long shot. 

“Can we just drop it? Please?” And she knows that he’s upset, but it does kind of sting that he didn’t even seem _curious_ about who she’d been having sex dreams about as a tween (mostly Jimmy Olsen but occassionally Aquaman). 

“Yeah,” Cady says. “Of course. We don’t have to talk about it anymore.” 

Kevin gives her a grateful relieved look, kissing her on the forehead, and Cady decides it might be time to re-evaluate her options, because she’s getting nowhere at this alone. If there’s anything to be learned from twelve years on different wildlife preserves is that sometimes nothing beats the wisdom of the herd. 

The problem with resolving to admit to someone that she and Kevin haven’t had sex because they were fake dating for the first two months of their relationship is that she’s not sure who she should actually tell. Marwan and Tyler are right off the table, obviously, because she hasn’t cleared any of this with Kevin so she can’t ask _his_ best friends. Plus she’s not sure how helpful they’d be given the fact that they don’t seem to have any trouble ramping up their sex life. 

Gretchen’s definitely the most invested in her love life of all of her friends and Cady’s pretty sure that she’d be the least weirded out by the whole fake dating thing (or at least Cady hopes given how many times she’s seen _To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before_ ). But she’s also a) not into guys and b) never been in a relationship, so while Cady’s sure she’d be thrilled at even being asked, she’s not sure how actually helpful Gretchen would be. 

Which leaves her with Damian and Janis, who are on one hand, the most obvious choice, but on the other will probably be the most hung up on the fake dating part. Which is very fair, but also not necessarily the most helpful given her predicament. Still, it’s not like she really has any other— 

Wait. Holy crap, she totally has another option!

“Cady!” Mrs. George cries, pulling Cady into a hug the moment the door is open, the dog jumping and yapping around her feet, little nails clicking on the marble tiles of the George’s entryway. 

“Hi Mrs. George,” Cady says, when she finally lets go. 

“We haven’t seen you in ages, come in, come in,” Mrs. George says ushering her inside, “Does Gina know you’re coming?” 

“Um, no actually,” Cady says. “Just kind of a surprise.” 

“Well I’m _sure_ she’ll be thrilled to see you,” Mrs. George says. “Just wait here one second, okay honey bun?” 

“Sure, okay,” Cady says, and tries to shove down the impulse to bail that immediately bobs up in her the moment Mrs. George is out of sight. 

“Hey, you’re Janis’ friend right?” 

Cady turns, looking up at Regina’s little sister Kylie who is leaning over the bannister. 

“Uh, yeah, I’m Cady.” 

“Is Janis here?” Kylie asks, clearly trying not to sound overly excited. The bottom of her hair, which had been dyed purple the last time Cady had seen her, is now dyed a tealish green. 

“Nope, just me.” 

“Oh,” Kylie says, not keeping the disappointment out of her voice very well. 

“Kylie, stop bothering my friend,” Regina says, somehow still intimidating in leggings, a t-shirt, and fuzzy socks. 

“I’m not bothering her,” Kylie says pouting, but she turns and thumps up the stairs anyways. 

“Sorry about her,” Regina says. “She’s like, in love with Janis. It’s very sweet honestly but she’s twelve so she has no chill about it.” 

“That’s cool that she has Janis to talk to, you know, about stuff.” 

“Yeah, they like, email and she brought her some books a while ago. I think it’s been really good for Kylie,” Regina says, and it’s weird to hear be so sincere, almost a relief when she snaps back. “Anywho, what’re you doing here?” 

“Can we go to your room? It’s kind of private,” Cady says, which is chum in the water for Regina, eyes going wide and the cogs already turning as she drags Cady off towards her room. 

“So, um,” Cady says, sitting on the edge of Regina’s bed. “You know how like, the Kevin thing all started because you said I should bring a hot date to Aaron’s party.” 

“Yeah, you interpreted that very creatively but continue.” 

Cady would defend Kevin’s honour-slash-hotness more but she’s pretty sure if she doesn’t keep going she’ll never get through this. “Well um, I know you thought that we like hooked up after Halloween and that’s when we started like, actually being a thing. But that’s not actually what happened.” 

Regina considers this. “Interesting.” 

“Yeah, um, Kevin and I have only been dating intentionally since Snowflake Soiree,” Cady says, “I mean like, he liked me, and I definitely had more than platonic feelings before then but that’s when we actually got on the same page.” 

“So what, you thought it was just a friends with benefits thing? Not to be mean Cady but aren’t you like, really smart?” 

“We actually haven’t had sex that’s, sort of what I wanted to talk to you about,” Cady admits sheepishly, fingers clenched in Regina’s duvet. “And yes I know that it’s awkward that we’ve both had sex with the same guy, but there’s not really anyone else I can talk to because like, all of my other friends are gay and don’t know about the fake dating thing and I just really really need your help because I can’t figure out how to get my boyfriend to have sex with me because sometimes it seems like he _really_ wants to but then he’ll just get weird and I don’t know what to _do_.” 

She hadn’t meant for it all to come tumbling out, but it seems to stroke Regina’s ego in exactly the right way as she comes and sits on the bed beside Cady, patting her hand a little patronizingly. “You’ve come to the expert Cady, don’t worry, whatever sweet little nerd sex problems you’re having, I can absolutely walk you through them.” 

And maybe that slightly mean statement shouldn’t be so reassuring to hear. Especially from her ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend who was, at least for a time, kind of her nemesis, but after well over a month of just not knowing what to do, it’s like that first sprinkle of rain after a drought.

“C’mon,” Regina says, poking her in the thigh. “Get up, we’re going shopping.” 

She fills Regina in on the details on the drive to the mall, Regina finally having been cleared by her doctors to drive again. Cady’s still waiting for the last of the snow to melt so she can take her driver’s test, because she’s not quite confident enough to pull that off in a Chicago winter. 

“So wait, have you guys done like. Nothing?” Regina asks when they’re waiting at a red light. 

“No, we’ve done like. You know, _stuff_.” 

“Stuff?” 

“Like up to, third base?” Cady says, hoping she’s getting this whole bases thing correct. “And okay so like, during winter break when we first started dating for real we got all the way up to like, below the belt stuff, but then we were both like, hey maybe we should talk about sex before we go any further.” 

“Makes sense.” 

“So we did, and it was a really good conversation and all Kevin said was that he wanted to take stuff kind of slow, which completely makes sense because — okay you’re not allowed to be mean about it — but he’s a virgin. And I mean, it’s not like I’m overflowing with sexual experience either.” 

“Hmmm,” Regina says, somehow managing to convey _yeah becauase you had sex with Aaron who is not very good at it_ without even opening her mouth. 

“Anyways,” Cady says. “So we had the talk, everything was fine. And then in January we worked up to oral which was…” Cady hears her voice go all melty and sappy. “It was really nice. I mean _I_ thought it was really nice, and Kevin seemed really into it at the time, but ever since then it’s like a miracle if I can get him to touch my boobs.” 

Regina considers this for a long moment, windshield wipers clicking as she thinks. “That does seem really freakin’ weird.” 

Relief rushes through Cady, she’d been pretty sure she was right that there was something unusual going on, but it feels good to have someone confirm it after weeks of just horrible internal loop stress. 

“I mean, stupid question but you didn’t like. Bite his dick or something traumatic.” 

“No, Regina, I did not bite his dick.” 

“Don’t get snippy, it’s a reasonable question,” Regina says. “Look, Cady, there’s a lot of reasons that boys do the stupid things they do, and honestly, none of that really matters.” 

“It doesn’t?” 

“No. Because we have a very important secret of seduction on our side.” 

“What secret?” Cady asks. 

Regina grins. “Victoria’s.” 

Two hours later Cady is about ready to hunt down Victoria and throw her down the slopes of Mount Kenya. She didn’t know her back could hurt from putting bras on, but she’s actually sore between her shoulder blades from constantly having to reach behind her. 

She sighs, adjusting the new bra that Regina just brought her, which looks frankly indistinguishable from the pile of rejects she’s already handed back to the sales lady. 

“Okay what’s wrong with this one, I can hear you sighing in there.” 

“Like it’s fine,” Cady calls back. “I don’t know, it’s just very. I feel like I look like a dominatrix.” 

“Puh-lease what kind of shoddy dominatrix gets her gear from VS?” 

Cady pulls open the changing room curtain. “I just think going from my normal underwear to this would freak him out more than seduce him. Don’t they have something a little more…” she waves a hand, “Sexy in a me way?” 

“I thought being sexy in a you way wasn’t working,” Regina says, flicking her manicured nails in Cady’s direction. 

“I feel like there’s a happy medium. Can I try something on in a different colour at least?” Everything Regina’s brought her has been a combo of red, black, and hot pink. None of which are her colours. 

“Fine,” Regina says, and flounces off back into the wonderland of women’s underthings. Cady closes the curtains again, checking her phone as she waits. 

_**Kevin G 💖**_

**** _Hey_

_**Kevin G 💖**_

**** _Whats up?_

_**Cady**_

**** _At the mall with Regina_

It’s been a while since Kevin texted her, so she doesn’t expect a response right away, but a reply pops up before she can even close the window. 

_**Kevin G 💖**_

**** _Whaaat? me too!_

_**Kevin G 💖**_

**** _I mean not with Regina...obvs_

_**Kevin G 💖**_

**** _Ty and Mar felt bad about the other day so I dragged them with me for ~secret reasons~_

_**Kevin G 💖**_

**** _Where are you guys at?_

“Cady?” Regina calls through the curtain. “I brought you some more, lets say, Cady Heron type options.” 

“Great, awesome, perfect,” Cady says, sticking her hand out and grabbing wildly, and is relieved when the three bras Regina has come back with are a lot more her speed. Which is good because she needs to wrap this up quickly before her sexy Valentine’s surprise gets entirely ruined. 

As it is she really likes one of the sets Regina brought her this time. Powder blue with lace cups that are semi-sheer, but not overly girly either. She looks like herself just, amped up a little in the seduction department. 

“Okay, I’m gonna get these ones,” Cady calls through the curtain. “Also we need to leave right now because Kevin is at the mall and I’d really love to not blow this surprise before it happens.” 

“Hmmm yeah I’m sure there’s something you’d much rather blow.” 

“Oh my _god_ ,” Cady says, pulling her jeans back on. “I regret telling you everything.” 

“No you don’t,” Regina says. “Meet me out front when you’re done.” 

She texts Kevin to tell him that she’s at the Forever 21 directly across from Victoria’s Secret, and she’s barely through shoving her newly acquired purchases into her bag when Kevin comes around the corner bounding over like an excited gazelle and sweeping her right off her feet. 

“Kev!” Cady protests, even as she laughs and hangs on tight, kissing him while her feet are still off the ground. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” he grins and Cady is honestly a little pissed that neither of her parents have class tonight because the urge to bust out her tools of seduction is really really high. Especially after Kevin literally running and pulling her off the ground helped soothe some of her still wounded ego from the other day. 

But if she pulls them out now she’s going to have to figure out a whole different Valentine’s day plan and that sounds exhausting. 

“Hello Kevin, Marwan, Marwan’s boyfriend,” Regina says. 

“Tyler,” he corrects. “We’ve literally gone to the same schools since kindergarten? Why

do you know who Marwan is but not me?” 

“We did a health project together on IUDs,” Regina and Marwan say in haunting unison, 

tones completely mismatched. 

“Uh, what’re you guys doing at the mall?” Kevin jumps in, trying to fill the awkward

void that interaction opened up. 

“Oh, you know,” Cady says lamely. “Just. Getting. Stuff. Uh, how about you?” 

“Also, getting stuff,” Kevin says vaguely. 

“Do you still need a ride home Cady?” Regina says. “‘Cause if not Karen said I could

shave off her eyebrows for a TikTok.” 

“Yeah, honey I can drive you home that’s no big,” Kevin says. “Actually did you wanna grab dinner? Just us.” 

“Rude,” Tyler says. 

“How is it rude for me to take my girlfriend to dinner?” Kevin says. 

“We could always just go with them and sit at a different table,” Marwan suggests. 

“I’m going to leave,” Regina says. “But Cady, I don’t think you need to worry so much about what you’re worrying about. I think you can get it whenever you want.”

Cady flushes a little, even though the odds of anyone other than her understanding any of what Regina just said are pretty slim. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for your help.” 

“You’re _so_ welcome,” Regina says, squeezing her arm as she passes, and then she’s gone. 

“She still kinda scares me,” Kevin says once she’s out of earshot. 

“Yeah, but she grows on you,” Cady says. “So? Dinner?” 

They end up at the same All-American sports bar place they’d meant to eat at on Jason and Damian’s first date (which they’d promptly had to bail on when Damian had realized it was, in fact, a date). Kevin orders a bunch of apps, including a commemorative basket of jalapeno poppers, which they spread across the weirdly large table. 

“I feel like I’m so far from you,” Cady says, stretching her arms melodramatically across the table. 

“I mean, we can sit on the same side.” 

“I know, but Janis and Damian always make fun of couples who do that.” 

Kevin leans forward and whispers conspiratorially, “Baby, what they aren’t here to see ain’t gonna hurt them.” Which is all the invitation Cady needs to slide out of the booth and back in against Kevin’s side. 

“God, you smell really good,” Cady says, nuzzling into his shoulder a bit. 

“Thank you, it’s eau de Old Spice,” Kevin says, wrapping the arm not currently dipping a mozzarella stick in ranch around her shoulders as Cady helps herself to more fried pickles. 

“I don’t get how you don’t like these,” Cady says, covering her mouth with the back of her hand while she chews. “They’re so good.”

“It’s a texture thing, they weird me out.” 

“No, the texture is the best part they’re all crispy on the outside but all soft inside. And they’re still good without sauce.” 

“Okay but sauce is the best part of anything,” Kevin says, “I would literally marry southwest ranch if it were legal.” 

“I want you to know as your girlfriend I do wholeheartedly endorse that union,” Cady says, and then uses the opportunity to snag the last mozarella stick, but Kevin doesn’t even look annoyed. 

“You didn’t have to be sneaky, I always save the last one for you,” Kevin says.

“You do not.” 

“Yeah I do,” Kevin laughs. “I mean you don’t always _eat_ the last one, granted, but I always save it in case you want it.” 

_I love you_ , Cady thinks, the words appearing at the front of her mind in a bright flash of neon. It’s not the first time she’s thought it recently, but it doesn’t feel quite right to say out loud, not quite the moment. Even if tucked into Kevin’s side in this too loud and too busy restaurant is probably the most effortlessly secure she’s felt about their relationship in a while. 

“Well I’d save you all the southwest ranch,” Cady says instead, and she thinks maybe Kevin kind of hears the unspoken part anyways from the way his eyes go all soft and melty, lip caught between his teeth even as he grins at her. 

When Kevin asked if she’d wanted to go for a drive after dinner, Cady had really thought he’d been angling for them to make out in the car. Or maybe that was just her own wishful thinking. In any case he’s not really expecting him to pull into the parking lot of some random school. 

“Where are we?” Cady asks, angling around. 

“Birthplace of the fires that forged me,” Kevin says, unbuckling his seatbelt. 

“That sign says it’s a middle school,” Cady points out. 

“Yeah, same dif because it’s _my_ middle school, c’mon I bet the swings are free,” he says, pulling his door open. 

Cady follows after him, shoving her hands into gloves and feeling immensely grateful she wore her giant warm puffy coat, even though Regina had given her a lot of side eye for the fashion choice. 

“I know I got weird the other day about the whole. _Space Jam_ thing,” Kevin says, not looking at her when she catches up to him. “Which wasn’t fair because you were really nice about it.” 

“I like knowing things about you Kev, I really really do.” 

“I know,” Kevin says, pulling her over to the swings. “That’s why I brought you here.” 

“Oh cold,” Cady complains, as she grabs the chains with her gloves, Kevin pulling her back and giving her a good starter push. 

“This was the real hot spot of Maple Ridge Middle School,” Kevin says. “A real who’s who of the seventh grade hanging out around here. Which is probably less impressive to you because a who’s who of the seventh grade was Regina and Janis. Okay you gotta pump cuz I wanna swing.” 

Maybe it’s because Cady is horrifically out of practice, or maybe it’s because Kevin has longer legs but he gets up to speed with her pretty quickly, the two of them in unison. “Double dating,” Kevin says. 

“What?” 

“That’s what we’d call it when you’d match up like this, and if you were perfectly opposite that was scissoring. Which. Sounds really bad now that I’m saying it out loud, oh my god.” 

“Is scissoring even a thing? Janis told me that was a heterosexual myth.” 

“We know exactly the same lesbians so I don’t know why you think I would know.” 

“I mean you know a lot of stuff I don’t. Especially about sex stuff.” 

Kevin puts his legs down, skidding himself to a stop. “Um, hello, which one of us is a virgin?” 

“Um, hello, which one of us was homeschooled in Kenya and didn’t know anyone her own age until like, eighteen months ago?” 

“Alright, touche,” Kevin says, twisting himself around on the swing. “Hey whatever happened with Janis and what’s her name, from Merrymount, Carolyn?” 

“Oh Caroline Krafft?” Cady says. “So apparently, what I heard from Janis is that this girl Simone who she was kinda seeing for a while is like Caroline’s _best friend_ and it just made things kind of weird. They tried to keep talking but it was just like. Really awkward.” 

“Ohhh,” Kevin coos sympathetically. “That’s such a bummer.” 

“Yeah, but she seems mostly okay with it. I just think in general it’s kind of hard for her with me and Damian both dating.” 

“Hey, listen, as someone who was the third wheel for well over a year, I promise in the long run it will be a great opportunity for personal growth.” 

“I hope it’s okay,” Cady says, finally bringing herself to a stop. “That we’re doing more of a group thing for Valentine’s.” 

“No, I think it’s awesome. Like, who else would throw a Valentine’s party? I love that we’re doing something different. And we can still have some us time on the fourteenth.” Kevin finally pushes himself off, unfurling the chain, spinning for a moment before coming back to a stop.

“Actually, um, I was wondering if you’d maybe want to stay over? Since my parents are going to be gone?” 

Kevin looks at her all wide-eyed and skittish. “Um? Oh?” 

“Just like, so then you can drink and not worry about driving home and stuff,” Cady hears herself saying before she can stop herself. 

“Yeah, of course,” Kevin says, edges smoothed back down quickly. “That would be great.” He reaches over and squeezes her hand, and Cady tries to push away the circling vultures of her anxiety with the fact that she has the perfect secret weapon currently in the footwell of Kevin’s car. 

Cady was well aware that Gretchen loved both pink and heart-shaped things, but she is truly unprepared for the insanely Valentine’s themed outfit that Gretchen comes into school wearing. 

“Oh, my god?” Cady says, in a rush as Gretchen strolls up to her locker before homeroom. “Gretch, you look—”

“Girl!” Damian interjects. “You’re like a walking talking box of conversation hearts.” 

“Awww, thank you,” Gretchen says, giving a twirl. 

“We’re still on for doing rom-coms tonight right?” Cady asks, closing her locker. That was their cover to get Gretchen over to her place around seven. 

“Yes!” Gretchen gushes clutching Cady’s hand. “Oh it’s going to be so fun! I’ll bring options okay because I know you don’t know a lot of movies.” 

“She might actually die,” Damian says brightly once Gretchen is clicking off down the hallway. “We should have some little Valentine’s day tissues because she’s probably going to cry.” 

“Are you going to come over right after school?” Cady asks. 

“Yeah, I can give you a ride and stuff. I know Kevin will be _devastated_ but he can get over it because decorative perfection takes time. Also Jason promised he’d bring Janis so she won’t flake and he also bought her a very big box of Valentine’s candy to keep her occupied.” 

“Wow,” Cady says, because it seems nicer than asking if it was entirely necessary. 

“I _know,_ he’s my dream guy,” Damian says, putting a hand on his chest. “Okay I gotta go because we’re doing monologues this week in drama and I refuse to miss even a second of melodramatic sophomores doing _Glass Menagerie_.” 

“I don’t know what that is!” Cady calls after him but Damian either doesn’t hear her or ignores her. 

They swing by Trader Joes on the way to Cady’s place to get snacks, even after everyone went ham on bringing snacks for lunch. 

“It’s Valentine’s!” Damian says in lieu of an explanation, putting another pack of cookies into the cart, but he pays for half of the stuff so she can’t really complain. Plus it’s a good excuse to get those cupcakes without question. 

Her parents are still home when they get back, her dad folding socks into a suitcase at the dining room table, and Damian charms them while Cady hides all the snack food in her room, glad that Janis is the one bringing the alcohol later. She’d turned down anything approaching a rager, but it sounded fun to make Valentine’s day cocktails while watching a movie that Damian had described as a ‘Disasterpiece.’

She’s glad when her parents finally leave, a note with emergency phone numbers shoved into her hand and also taped to the fridge, alongside a vague comment from her mother about Cady ‘being safe,’ which she chooses to ignore. Or at least she’s glad when her parents finally leave until immediately after when Damian is no longer being charming and is instead becoming a bit of a decorating tyrant, though he listens when Cady puts her foot down about moving the furniture. 

They’re still hanging streamers up when Kevin arrives, and Cady hops down from where she was very dangerously standing on the arm of the couch to let him in. 

“Hey,” he says. “Fancy seeing you here. I brought more chocolate bark.” 

“You always know just the right thing to say,” Cady says melodramatically in a move she pulled right from Damian, leaning up to kiss Kevin. He’s wearing the kind of super layered outfit Cady loves because it means there’s always a good place to hang onto him from and they’re still pressed close together when Damian comes in from the dining room and looks at them incredulously. 

“Hello! We’re in the middle of decorating! This is not the time for canoodling,” Damian says. “Especially when you’re not even _dressed_ Caddy Marie Heron!” 

Kevin blinks at her. “Your middle name isn’t Marie.” 

“It’s my French name,” Cady says, taking Kevin’s backpack from him and then points an accusing finger at Damian. “Don’t get all huffy, now you have another very tall person to help you put stuff up.” 

“Just using me for my height I see,” Kevin calls after her. 

“Puhlease,” Cady hears Damian say as she heads up the stairs. “ _I’m_ the one only using you for your height.” 

Cady had already picked out her party outfit when she’d brought up all the snacks, but she debates for a minute whether she should just put the lingerie set on now or if she should find a time to sneak away later. But honestly, as cute as the stuff she got is, she’s not entirely sure she’s ready to commit to sitting it in all evening, especially because that sort of makes the reality of what she’s hoping will happen tonight a little more up close and personal. 

She’s not nervous exactly, but it’s so different from the few times she had sex with Aaron, which were always something he’d initiated and handled as the more experienced party. But now she’s the one who went out and bought the lube and condoms and put them in her bedside drawer, and as much as she thought that would make her feel calm and in control, it’s more a different kind of nerve-wracking. 

Still, she’s getting ahead of herself, which is always when stuff goes weird, so she just puts her cuter party outfit over her less cute everyday underwear and goes back downstairs to make sure everything’s going okay. 

“Any casualties yet?” Cady calls, hauling the bag of Trader Joe’s snacks with her back downstairs. 

“I resent that,” Damian says, from the other side of the room, Kevin very dutifully holding up the other end of a streamer. “Oh Jan just texted, her and Jason should be here pretty soon.” 

“Cool,” Cady calls from the kitchen, sticking all the drinks and anything else that needs to be cold into the fridge. “Is there anything I can do to help?” 

Damian sighs. “Just stand back and let the artist work.” 

It’s more than a little melodramatic, even for Damian, but Cady has to admit he’s done something kind of amazing with crepe paper and little heart hanging banners. And that’s even before Janis walks in with a reusable Lush bag full of alcohol and declares, “Oh my god it’s like the Hallmark card aisle exploded.” 

“It looks really great sweetie,” Jason says, two different cases of beer under his arms, one of which Cady quickly relieves him from. 

“Holy shit, did someone’s sib buy?” Kevin asks. 

“Nah,” Janis says, putting the Lush bag on the dining room table with a thud. “My parents are,” she makes air quotes, “‘Cool parents’ who would rather know what I’m up to. God they’re so annoying.”

Sometimes it was really hard to see why Janis and Regina used to be best friends, but this was not one of those times, and Cady pushes down a smile when Kevin makes incredulous eye contact with her. 

“Janis come help, I need your artistic skills for this poster I’m making with the rules for the drinking game.” 

“I’m going to go grab Marwan and Tyler,” Kevin says, to the room but mostly to Cady, a hand on her back and a quick kiss into her hair before he’s gone again and Cady’s left in the middle of this interior design storm, a stack of themed napkins shoved into her hands. 

Damian is just re-doing her fanned out napkins on the dining room table when the boys roll back up. 

“Whoa!” Marwan says. “Guys this looks pretty freaking amazing.” 

“Thank you!” Damian gushes. “I am taking ninety percent credit except for the drinking rules poster which was all Janis.” 

“I’m not done, stop rushing me!” Janis says from where she’s planted herself on the floor of the living room to paint. “I’m an _artiste_ , moved by my muse to create..” 

“Well let the muse inspire you a little more quickly, it’s almost seven.” 

“Yeah we’ve got like ten she just texted the gay Jewish group chat that she was leaving.” 

“The what now?” Kevin says, planting himself on the arm of the couch. 

“She added me to this group chat with her gay Jewish camp friends,” Tyler says. “it’s honestly pretty lit.” 

“Janis oh my god you are killing me,” Damian says hunched over her as she works.

“Hey! No one rushed your part of decorating,” Janis says, jabbing at him with a paint brush. “Let me work.” 

“Yeah, you’ve worked so hard Damian, why don’t you come sit down,” Jason says, going over and gently pulling his boyfriend away from Janis and onto the love seat. 

Tyler and Marwan also seemed to have gotten this snuggling with your boyfriend memo, so Cady goes over and sits with Kevin who has pulled up the online menu for the place they were ordering pizza from. 

“I thought we weren’t ordering until Gretchen got here,” Cady says, pressing the side of her face into his arm. 

“Yeah, that’s still the plan but trying to order pizza with eight people is like, very much an event I’m trying to be prepared.” 

Is it weird that she finds that kind of very hot? Maybe she can kind of get on board with Tyler’s whole deal after all. She likes when Kevin gets a little take-charge. 

“Are we going to like, jump out from behind stuff?” Janis says from the floor. “Because I did not agree to any jumping and yelling.” 

“Please, we’re not twelve,” Damian says from where he’s trying to sync up his phone to Cady’s parents' speakers. 

“Awwww jumping out is so fun—” Tyler starts but doesn’t get to finish at the sound of the doorbell ringing. 

“Okay, okay, be cool,” Cady says jumping up to answer the door, smoothing her skirt over once before pulling it open. 

“Hey girl!” Gretchen chirps. “I brought—” Her voice falters out as she takes note of the decorations and the other people and for a second she looks almost devastated. Cady’s wondering if she’d made a horrible, horrible miscalculation but then suddenly Gretchen throws herself into Cady’s arms. 

“Um! Surprise!” Cady offers, patting Gretchen’s back. 

“You guys threw me a Valentine’s party!?” Gretchen says. “Oh. I— Oh my god. Oh the _decorations_!” 

“That was all Damian,” Cady cedes quickly. “But we’ve got snacks and we’re gonna make Valentine’s cocktails and order heart-shaped pizza.” 

“And get totally blitzed watching a terrible Valentine’s movie!” Janis says, holding up her now finished poster. 

“I—” Gretchen says, and then starts sobbing. “I love you guys so much.” 

“Oh!” Cady says, pulling her back into a hug. “We love you, we wanted to do something special for you on your special day.” That seems to make Gretchen just sob harder, and suddenly it’s turning into a big group hug. 

“Okay, okay,” Gretchen finally says. “I’m okay, it’s really really really awesome that you guys would do this for me.” 

“Hey,” Janis says, squished between Cady and Gretchen. “It’s not just awesome, it’s totally fetch.” 

Despite their drinking game only having three rules (1. Drink for every shot of flowers, 2. Drink for every time someone says ‘Valentine’s Day’ and 3. Drink for every cheesy pop song in the score), Cady makes her way through two drinks quickly enough that she decides to quit while she’s ahead, all warm and fuzzy pressed between Kevin and Gretchen on the couch. 

“How is this like, the only Valentine’s themed movie that exists,” Damian says from where his head is pillowed in Jason’s lap. “It’s not very good and there should be more.” 

“What about My Bloody Valentine?” Janis offers. 

“Slasher films don’t count.” 

“Why not? It’s Valentine’s themed.” 

“Yeah you’d think Hallmark would be all over that market,” Marwan says. “Like there’s a couple but they don’t crank them out like they do with the Christmas movies.” 

“You are so weirdly into Hallmark Christmas movies, you don’t even celebrate Christmas,” Tyler points out. 

“I’m Canadian, it’s in my right to think people falling in love when it’s snowing is romantic!” Marwan protests with faux indignation. 

“It is romantic!” Kevin agrees enthusiastically. “December is categorically the most romantic month to fall in love during.” 

“Dude, didn’t you guys start dating in October?” 

“Irregardless,” Kevin says, another vocabulary adoption from Gretchen. 

“I really do not trust Bradley Cooper,” Janis says apropo of nothing. 

“What!? Why?” Damian says. 

“I don’t know. Something about his face, I’m always expecting him to be up to something bad.” 

“God ever since he cheated on his wife with Scarlett Johansson in _He’s Just Not That Into You_ I haven’t trusted him either,” Gretchen says. 

“Flowers!” Tyler says, and they all drink. 

Cady grabs another slice of pizza from the box on the coffee table, the same kind Kevin had ordered her when they’d gone on that first arcade date that was a fake date but actually kind of wasn’t. She’s not sure if it being heart-shaped makes it taste any better, but it was really cute for some pictures. The party (as lowkey as it was) was already all over Gretchen’s instagram (and presummably the gay Jewish group chat too). 

“Ohhh booo,” Janis says throwing a cinnamon heart at the tv when Bradley Cooper is plot twist revealed to be gay at the end. “The hets can keep him.” 

“Awww I think it’s sweet,” Jason says. “Also I mean this came out in 2010.” 

“A relic of a different time,” Janis says.

Cady hadn’t really meant to wind down the party when the movie was done, but it kind of runs out of steam on its own once the end credits start rolling. People finishing up drinks and snacks and making polite excuses to head out. 

“Seriously, take anything you want,” Cady says, gesturing at the still pretty sizable snack buffet on the dining room table. “I have containers.” 

“Hey are you gonna be good to like, clean all this up?” Marwan says, “We don’t wanna just like, ditch.” 

“Oh it’s fine I’m going to get Kevin to help,” Cady says waving a hand. 

“Exploited for my height once again,” Kevin says with a theatrical sigh. “But no worries you guys, get out of here. Like now. C’mon, get.” 

“Thirsty much Kev?” Tyler says half under his breath and Marwan jabs him. 

Still it’s a while until everyone clears out, lingering conversations by the door and Janis sneaking back in for just one more brownie even though she insisted she didn’t want to take any home with her. 

“Make smart choices!” Janis calls pulling the door closed behind her, and like that Cady and Kevin are alone in her Valentine’s day wonderland of an open concept living/dining room. 

“Hey,” Cady says. 

“Hi,” Kevin says. 

“I think that went pretty well,” Cady offers when neither of them move. “It was really fun, thanks for all your help.” 

“Of course,” Kevin says. “Anything to keep the proud tradition of middle school Valentine’s parties alive and well.” 

“C’mere,” Cady says, opening her arms and half stepping into Kevin’s space, letting him come the rest of the way to her. 

“I’m so out of shape, my shoulders literally hurt from helping Damian put up streamers,” Kevin says. 

“You’re not out of shape, you run like every day.” 

“Yeah but that’s all cardio,” Kevin says, letting go and flopping down on the couch, Cady going with him happily. This is better, this is like, peak real estate for making out. “I need to work more on my— ” 

Cady doesn’t hear the end of that sentence because in a weird burst of confidence she’s grabbing Kevin by one of his many layers and pulling him down overtop of her on the couch. 

“Um? Hello,” Kevin says, palms bracketed just above her shoulders. 

“Hi,” Cady says, and tugs him down a little further, opening her mouth into the kiss, Kevin slightly hesitant at first but getting swept up quickly, one of his hands moving to touch the side of her neck. 

Cady lets go from where she’s got her hands clenched into his shirt, reaching under the layers of hoodie and flannel so she can get her hands on his back, nothing between the warm expanse of skin but the thin layer of a t-shirt. 

“God, you’re so freaking gorgeous,” Kevin says, pulling back a little. 

“You are,” Cady breathes, hands still mapping over his back, drawing him back towards her. “I want you,” she says, into his neck, kissing him wetly over and over.

“Here, here,” Kevin says, “let's shift I don’t want to crush you.” 

Cady lets him guide her so they’re both on their sides, Kevin pressed against the backrest, his one hand on her back keeping her from toppling off onto the floor, the other pressing up into her hair, cradling the back of her head. It’s slower this time, a little less frantic, a little more languid and exploratory. 

Until it’s not, and Kevin’s getting a little more insistent, and Cady’s pushing back against him, and it just seems right to throw her leg over his hip and grind down a little. 

“Baby, what?” Kevin says. 

“Just don’t stop,” Cady pants back, trying to kiss him again but suddenly he’s pulling up and away from her. “What’s wrong?” 

Kevin’s blinking at her, and his hair is a mess and his eyes are so wide and she _wants_ him. But he’s sitting up and away from her and it’s just like every single time all over again when he says. “Maybe we should slow down a little bit.”

“Do you want to slow down or do you just want to stop?” Cady says, “Because it kind of just feels like you want to stop.” 

“Baby, what? No, I don’t want to stop,” Kevin says, reaching for her but Cady pulls away, standing up and feeling stupid for thinking anything would be different just because she dropped forty dollars at Victoria’s Secret. 

“Cady I don’t know what’s happening,” Kevin says, sitting up, still reaching out for her. 

She should say something mature. She should reassure him that everything’s okay, that they can take everything as slow as he wants. Of course she wants that too, she does— 

“Why don’t you want to have sex with me?” Cady blurts before she can stop herself, shattering into silence. 

“Wait, what?” Kevin says scrambling to his feet after a second. “I— what are you talking about?” 

“You keep saying you want to take things slow and of course we can take things slow, of course we can, I’m not— I don’t want you to do stuff you’re not comfortable with. But you always seem really into it in the moment and then suddenly I’ll try to escalate and you want to stop,” Cady’s mouth is spiraling ahead of her brain and she should really stop but it’s like trying to stop a stampede. “Look if I was just that terrible when we actually did sex stuff can you please just tell me? Cause I can fix it. I can do better but you have to let me _try_.” 

Oh god she’s crying, when did she start crying? Her throat feels stuffed so tight and it’s a good thing her well of word vomit has run dry because she’s pretty sure she couldn’t say anything else if she tried. She’s wrung dry and she collapses back onto the couch and stares up at Kevin who has gone wide eyed in an entirely different way than before. 

“I’m—” Kevin starts, putting his tented hands to his face and inhaling into them for a second before trying again. “You think I wanted to go slow for me?” 

That’s. Really not what Cady was expecting, and it startles her out of her pity party. “Yes?” 

“Cady,” Kevin says, coming at sitting beside her on the couch. “Obviously I want to have sex with you. And like, all the affiliated activities. Of course I do.” 

“In what way is that obvious? You keep turning me down,” Cady says. 

“Right but only because— ” Kevin says, and then shuts his eyes very tight. “I don’t want _you_ to rush into something you’re going to...regret….later.” 

The world has tilted so far that Cady’s basically just free floating in space, no gravity, no up or down, just an absolute void of confusion. “Why would I— ” 

“I liked you for a really long time before you liked me back,” Kevin says. “It’s not a pity thing it’s just factually true. And I would hate if you felt— if you feel like you have to get to the same place as me on a way shorter timeline. Like, that time over winter break? That was literally so amazing I think about it all the time. But it happened really fast too and I didn’t want it to be like. Oh you gave me a handjob and I fingered you so now we _have_ to jump straight to sex. I just didn’t want to be pressuring you.” 

“You’re not pressuring me at all, I _want_ to have sex with you,” Cady says. “Like. A lot. I guess. Maybe...I should have just said that?” 

“It’s not your fault,” Kevin says, “I could have talked to you too. I just. I still kind of feel like maybe— sorry this is really stupid — but that I’m still going to wake up and it’s all going to have been an extremely vivid and convoluted dream.” 

“Can’t get rid of me that easy,” Cady says, leaning into his shoulder, and Kevin pulls one of his hands from where she was holding them so he can get it around her back. “Look we don’t have to do literally anything sexual tonight. We could spend four hours staring at the wall and I’d love it because I just like being with you. But please, please, please don’t think you need to hold back on my account because I _really_ want you.” 

“Yeah?” Kevin says in that sort of needy skeptical way he does. 

“It’s like all I think about some days,” Cady says, laying it on a little thick. 

“Like, um, what?” Kevin says, and god she loves making him like this, all flustered and blushy. 

“Um, like being in your lap, that’s a big one,” Cady says. “Just having you touch me like, everywhere. Or like if I’m touching myself I think a lot about when you went down on me.” 

“I think about that a lot too.” 

“Yeah?” 

Kevin half laughs half pants. “Um, kind of way too much. I think if a psychic could read my mind they’d be like, get a new daydream dude.” 

“Okay, um,” Cady says, standing from the couch very suddenly, hot and cold little burst of adrenaline running through her body. “Is it— can I just run upstairs really quick? I want to give you your Valentine’s present.” 

“Now?” Kevin says. 

Cady kisses him, cradling his jaw in her hands. “You’ll like it, I promise. Just stay right there, okay?” 

She feels like a newborn giraffe, all legs and no coordination as she climbs up the stairs, wrestling her top off before she’s even into her bedroom. She gets out of her clothes and into the lingerie set in a series of movements that can only be described as ‘scrambling,’ and she does have to take the bra off after she puts it on for the first time because there’s a stray hanging tag she hadn’t noticed. 

Cady gives herself a once over in the mirror, debating if she should put her hair in a ponytail, but she’s trying to seduce Kevin not give him a heart attack, so she decides against it. Though she does throw on a short silky robe that she’d bought in the midst of her Plastification because she’d seen Regina wearing one just like it. Partially because it tones down the forwardness of walking downstairs in lingerie just a little bit, and partially because it is February and she’s cold. 

She fluffs her hair one last time and then creeps back down the stairs, trying to be less scrambled and more seductive. 

Only Kevin’s not sitting on the couch where she left him, and she pads all the way

downstairs instead of getting to dramatically pose against the bannister. 

She can hear him moving around in the dining room though, singing some ear worm song half under his breath, and as she pads gently into the living room she sees him hunched over the still leftover snacks on the table, putting things into containers. 

“Kevin?” Cady says. 

“Hey sorry, I just know it’s a pain to have to deal with stuff tomorrow, I already put all the recycling in the garage and the dishes in the— ” his voice cuts off into a cartoonish little wheeze as he finally looks up at her. 

Only Cady doesn’t feel like she got the sexy upper hand on this one. She’s known she’s loved him for a while, it’s not like it’s news to her, but the sight of him holding this tupperware container makes it overflow the capacity of her heart, dripping down the sides and into her ribcage. 

“I love you,” Cady says in an unplanned breathless rush. 

“I—” Kevin starts, and then looks down at the container he’s holding. “Oh my god why am I holding this? I’m completely blowing this moment.” 

“No it’s perfect,” Cady says, and she’s not crying but it kind of comes out like a sob. “It’s perfect, I love it. I love you.” 

Kevin’s dropping it though, brushing past the dining room table and sweeping her into his arms, foreheads touching first before they kiss. 

“I love you too,” he says. “I love you so much Cady.” 

“Wait, wait, we can kiss more in a second but look at your present first,” Cady says, giggling as she pulls away. “No look, look.” 

“Jesus,” Kevin says, sounding punchdrunk and running a hand over his face, like he can’t look at all of her at once. “You’re. So gorgeous.” 

“So you like it?” Cady says coyly, opening her robe a little bit more. “You’re actually going to kill me.” 

“Oh so you like it _a lot_ — Kevin!” Cady cries, as he grabs her right off her feet. “Oh my god.” 

He kisses her, the angle a little awkward because all of their hands are currently keeping Cady up against the pull of gravity, but it’s so romantic she can’t bring herself to care at all. 

“This was very sexy of me but I think I need to put you down,” Kevin says, faces still pressed close together. “God, see I told you I need to do more strength and flexibility based exercise.” 

“Mhmmm,” Cady says, kissing the side of his face as he sets her down. 

“Here, um, actually, if we’re doing presents,” Kevin says. “I have yours. If you want it.” 

“Oh!?” 

“Yeah, uh,” Kevin reaches into his back pocket, pulling out a small brown craft paper box. “There’s sort of an explanation though,” he adds as Cady opens it, pulling out a chevron shaped necklace in hammered brass. 

“Are these latitude and longitude coordinates?” She asks, looking closer at the engraving on one side. 

“Yeah,” Kevin says, excitedly. “Um, it’s the coordinates for the wildlife preserve in Kenya. I just, I know you miss it a lot sometimes, so I figured this was a way you could. Keep part of it with you.” 

“Kevin,” Cady says, “I love it.” 

“Yeah?” Kevin says, breathing a little sigh of relief. “Okay, good. The lady at Things Engraved thought it was a cute idea but you can’t trust sales people, ya know?” 

“It’s perfect, you’re _perfect_ ,” Cady says, leaning up on her toes to kiss him again, box clutched tight against her chest. 

“You know there’s actually this really good docuseries on Netflix about supposed to be really amazing about different wildlife reserves and rehabilitations. Maybe we could check that out?” 

“Or, we could go upstairs and have sex,” Cady counters. 

Kevin considers this for a moment, “Yeah, okay, dope! Let’s go upstairs.” 

“Holy shit,” Kevin says, having collapsed into the end of Cady’s bed, face pressed into the duvet, one of her legs having fallen off his shoulders. 

“Wow, um, okay,” Cady says, when she can catch her breath. 

“Was that okay?” Kevin asks from where he’s half melted onto the floor between her spread legs. 

“Um, yeah, that was _very_ okay,” Cady says, feeling a little dazed. She was well acquainted with Kevin’s over-achiever tendencies, but even still she hadn’t expected to come twice during what was meant to be _his_ deflowering. Clearly she shouldn’t underestimate her boyfriend like that. 

“C’mere,” Cady says, scooting back on the bed. “Oh babe you’ve got— your chin.” 

“Do you have like. Tissues?” Kevin asks, climbing back into bed with her as she reaches

around behind her for the box she keeps on her nightstand. 

“Hold me,” she whines when he’s done crumpling tissues up and tossing them vaguely in the direction of her trash can. She half expects a quip about her being bossy despite two (totally earth shattering) orgasms, but he just lets her bury her face into his chest, kissing the top of her head. 

“Happy?” Kevin says.

“Hmm, very,” Cady says. “How about you?” 

“Well it would have been pretty sweet to see some unicorns, but I feel like it was a fair trade off.” 

Cady pulls back to look at him. “What?” 

“Cause, only virgins? Can see unicorns?” 

“Is that a thing?” 

“Allegedly yeah.” 

“Huh,” Cady says, brushing Kevin’s hair back from his face, even his extra-strength pomade starting to wilt. “Well, I’m very flattered that you made that sacrifice for me.” 

“‘Sacrifice,’” Kevin air quotes, flopping onto his back. Cady crawls half on top of him so she can kiss him, lazy and unhurried. His hands are on her back as they kiss, and while most of her brain is just basking in the afterglow with her boyfriend, there’s a not inconsequential part of it that’s having a revelation. 

“Oh my god,” Cady says, half sitting up. 

“What?” Kevin starts up a little after her, as Cady puts a hand over her face and starts laughing. 

“Um, okay this is really embarrassing but I think I might kind of be a sex psychic?” 

“Oh?” 

“So remember when uh, everyone thought we had sex?” 

“Yes, I vividly remember because my friends sang a song about it in the lobby of the

hotel.” 

“Okay, so after that. When it was all over school. I sort of told Janis that you were super good at it, and that I came twice, and also that, um, your dick is bigger than Aaron’s. And. Well…” 

“Oh.” 

“Yup.” 

“Is it tacky if the last one made me the happiest?” Kevin says absolutely beaming. 

“Yes, but I’ll forgive you because I’m about to do something very tacky,” Cady says, kissing him once before climbing over him and grabbing her robe off the floor. “Stay right there, I’ll be right back.” 

She pads down stairs and grabs everything from where she’d pre-set it up earlier, thanking her past self for being overly optimistic before heading back upstairs. She pauses in the hallway, needing a second to get the lighter to light before she pushes the door back open. 

“Happy V-Day to you, happy V-Day to you, happy V-Day dear _Keeeeevin_ ,” Cady sings, Kevin groaning and throwing a hand over his face, but still grinning at her nevertheless. “Make a wish!” She says, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“I love you,” Kevin says. 

“I love you too. Make a wish.” 

He leans forward on his elbows and blows out the candle. “Happy?” 

“Extremely,” Cady says, sincerely. “What did you wish for?” 

“Nothing,” Kevin says, taking the plate and fork from her. 

“You can tell me!” Cady says. “I know people say you can’t tell a wish or it won’t come true, but that’s only birthday wishes. Not V-day wishes.” 

“No,” Kevin says, “I mean I didn’t wish for anything because I couldn’t think of anything to wish for.” 

Cady scoffs. “Not _anything_?” 

Kevin looks at her in a way that lights her up from the inside. “What else could I possibly want?” 

Which, is one of the sweetest things he’s ever said to her, and Cady loves and appreciates it, she _really_ really does. 

But that doesn’t stop her from pulling the unlit candle out of the cupcake and licking the icing off the end. “There’s _nothing_ else you want?” Cady asks, knowing exactly what she’s doing. 

“Um, actually, now that you mention it,” Kevin says and he laughs even as he’s pulling her onto her side and tugging her robe back open. Her hands go up to cradle his face, and when they kiss he tastes like chocolate icing and victory. 

Happy V-Day to her too.

**Author's Note:**

> Endless gratitude to youshallnotfinditso and evol_love for everything they bring to the table in making sure anything I write sees the light of day. Find me on tumblr where I'm also phonecallfromgod.


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